Day 2 - New Groups

“Prompt 2: Write a play where each character says no more than three words at a time.”

NEW GROUPS

CHARACTERS

1.  Bald. Nondescript. Male.

2.  Blonde. Quiet. Female.

3. ???. ???. ???. 

All wear dark brown hooded robes. 

SCENE I

A dark stage. THREE HOODED FIGURES stand in a row, bathed in a very low-light that barely brightens their faces. 1, standing directly in the middle, removes his hood. He does not look at the people standing next to him, but instead up towards the last row of the audience, as he speaks. 

1. 
Welcome, new recruits.

1.
State your purpose.

2 and 3 look up but do not remove their hoods. 

2.
Want to fly.

3.
Want to fly.

1 lowers his head and 2 and 3 immediately follow suit.

1.
You can fly. 

The stage goes dark.

SCENE II

Same stage set up as before, except now there are THREE DIFFERENT HOODED PEOPLE standing center stage. While not the same as the three before, they all share the same qualities and attributes. 1., standing directly in the middle, removes his hood. He does not look at the people standing next to him, but instead up towards the last row of the audience, as he speaks. 

1.
Welcome, new recruits. 

1.
State your purpose. 

2 and 3 look up but do not remove their hoods. 

2.
Want to believe.

3.
Want to believe. 

1 lowers his head and 2 and 3 immediately follow suit.

1.
You will believe. 

The stage goes dark. 

SCENE III

Same stage set up as before, except now there are THREE DIFFERENT HOODED PEOPLE standing center stage. While not the same as the three before, they all share the same qualities and attributes. 1., standing directly in the middle, removes his hood. He does not look at the people standing next to him, but instead up towards the last row of the audience, as he speaks. 

1. 
Welcome, new recruits.

1.
State your purpose. 

2 and 3 look up but do not remove their hoods. 

2.
Want to live. 

3.
Want to live. 

1 lowers his head and 2 and 3 immediately follow suit.

1.
We will live. 

The stage goes dark. 

SCENE IV

Same stage set up as before, except now all three of the THREE DIFFERENT HOODED GROUPS are standing, forming a pyramid. THREE 1s stand center stage, with the 2 and 3s branching out behind them, in a broken triangle. All three 1s speak at once. 

1. 
Three new groups

1.
Six new recruits. 

1.
For the cause. 

All of the 2s and 3s remove their hoods and look straight at the audience, trying their best to make direct eye contact with any audience members that they can.

2.
We are here.

3.
Want to be.

2.
Better for us.

3.
Need to be.

2.
We need this.

3.
We want this.

2.
We crave this.

1.
You have this. 

1.
It is yours.

1.
Do you believe?

All of the 2s and 3s lower their heads and the stage goes dark. 

SCENE V

The stage is dark. A LOUD CRACKING NOISE reveals a stroke of lightning bursting through the sky. After the lightning the THREE HOODED 1s re-appear on stage.

1.
Came to us.

1. 
Needed our help.

1. 
Didn't fit in.

1. 
We are guides.

1.
We are guardians.

1.
We seek truth. 

The stage goes dark. 

SCENE VI

The stage is bright--almost blindingly so. An UNKNOWN VOICE speaks from off-stage.

VOICE
It is time. 

SCENE VII

THE THREE HOODED 1s appear again center stage, standing dark in contrast against the blinding bright light. The light behind them should resemble the sky. 

1.
They are ready.

1.
They are ready.

1.
Time to fly. 

The 2s and 3s walk out on large metal structures at the side edges of the stage, so it looks as though they are higher up in the sky. 

1.
Do you believe?

2.
We do believe.

3.
We do believe.

The 1s drop their hoods and raise their hands in the air.

1.
You can fly.

SCENE VIII

The 2s and 3s drop from their high perches. They drop their hoods behind them and extend their arms wide by their sides, as if they can use them as wings. One by one each body hits the ground with a large thud. The bodies all lie motionless across the stage floor. The THREE HOODED 1s remain center stage, unfazed. 

SCENE IX

The stage goes dark again, with the same eerie low lighting on the faces of the THREE HOODED 1s standing center stage. 

1.
We will live. 

The stage goes dark.

End. 

Day 1 - Jolly

“Prompt 1: It’s the first day of work, and your main character’s new job is very different from what they thought.”

JOLLY

CHARACTERS

BRYCE. A 20-something out of work actor down on his luck and in desperate need for cash to pay his rent.

HOLLY.  A perpetually peppy 40-something retail manager who keeps a smile on her face even when she's serving you some of the hottest tea.

TINA. Holly's sarcastic assistant and head elf. 

SCENE I.

The stage is bright, decked out completely in Christmas lights, decor and fake snow. It's as if someone barfed up a holly jolly mess of festive vomit all over the place. HOLLY enters stage right. She's wearing a green turtleneck sweater with a poinsettia necklace and a green and red tartan skirt. Her black  cat-eye glasses are adorned with Santa hats on either end. She's got on red pointed toe heels and carries a notepad that she's scribbling in furiously as leads her assistant, TINA, behind her. TINA is wearing a red sweater and jeans with pointed elf ears under a green Santa hat. HOLLY stands, center stage, and looks down at her notepad. 

HOLLY
Ok, Tina, I cannot stress this enough--always wear a smile!

TINA emphatically takes her two pointer fingers and stretches the corners of her mouth into a maniacal grin.

HOLLY
Cute. 

TINA
Holly, I've been doing this for the past three years, I think I know the ropes by now. 

HOLLY
I know, but this year it has to be EXTRA special.

TINA
You say that every year.

HOLLY
But this year I mean it. 

HOLLY walks toward stage left. TINA remains center stage.

HOLLY
But if you're sure you're ready--makes sure all of mistletoe is hung in place. And that every bow is perfectly tied on each present. Oh and I beg this of you, PLEASE make sure all the eggnog on the tables are NON-ALCOHOLIC. We're not having a repeat of two years ago.

TINA gives a thumbs up. 

HOLLY
When is what's his name coming in?

TINA
Bryce. And he should be here any minute now. 

HOLLY
He better not be late. And hopefully he'll be better than that lunatic we got to play Santa last year. 

TINA
I thought Alfred was a nice guy--I mean the kids loved him until he got into the eggnog.

HOLLY
I'll never hire a recovering alcoholic again. 

HOLLY
I'm off to check on the exterior displays. Make sure Bryce knows the ins and outs of everything before he steps into my office. And remember:

HOLLY and TINA speak in unison. 

HOLLY AND TINA
Christmas in July only comes once a year.

TINA
I know, I know.

HOLLY shakes her head and exits stage left. BRYCE enters, stage right. He's wearing a short-sleeve plaid shirt and cargo shorts with a pair of converse. He looks around at all of the decorations in awe. In his hand is a manuscript. 

BRYCE
Um, is this Drame Festif?

TINA chuckles as she speaks to herself.

TINA
Oh God, really, Holly?

TINA
Are you Bryce? 

BRYCE
Yes I am. Is this the performance space? 

TINA
Yeah... sure.  What's that in your hand? 

BRYCE
Oh, I prepared a monologue--is the audition for the roll of Kristoph here? Are you Holly? 

TINA
I'm Tina but I think you may be mistaken--

BRYCE
Am I in the wrong place?

TINA
No, I'm pretty sure you're in the right place but this isn't an audition. 

BRYCE
It's not?

TINA
What exactly was the job post you replied to?

BRYCE searches his back pocket and produces a crumpled up sheet of paper.

BRYCE
Oh, um...

BRYCE reads from the paper. 

BRYCE
Professional dramatist needed to play the role of Kristoph K. Ringle in a new experimental theater production. Must be young, male, able to lift over 50 lbs and can swim/breathe underwater for extended periods of time.

BRYCE folds the paper up and returns it to his back pocket.

BRYCE
The last bit was odd but, hey, it's still a skill I have.

TINA winces.

TINA
Well, Bryce, the good news is, you've got the part.

BRYCE
But I didn't get to audition--

TINA picks up a LARGE BLACK PLASTIC GARBAGE BAG on the floor and tosses it to BRYCE.

TINA
Here's your costume. You'll need to fill out that suit a bit. I recommend a microbead pillow.

BRYCE peers into the bag.

BRYCE
What is this--

TINA
Read the name of your character again. 

BRYCE
Kristoph K--

TINA
Just Kris.

BRYCE
Kris K--

TINA
No, honey. K isn't his middle initial...

BRYCE
Kris Krin--Shit. 

TINA
Ho, ho, ho, Santa. Welcome to Holly Jolly Hell.

BRYCE
What did I get myself into?

TINA
Holly's Craft Boutique's third annual Christmas in July extravaganza. This year promises to be bigger and better than ever!

TINA
...and thusly even more batshit insane.

BRYCE
So this isn't a theater group?

TINA
No.

BRYCE
I'm just a dude playing a mall Santa in the middle of summer. 

TINA
You're giving yourself too much credit by promoting yourself to mall Santa. This is just a tiny boutique shop run by a woman who loves the holidays more than she loved her past four husbands. 

BRYCE
Why am I going to do this?

TINA
By the looks of it, you need money and you're desperate enough to say yes even though you know better.

BRYCE
Yeah, that about covers it.

TINA
Well suit up, Kris. Holly likes to meet her Santas in full character. She's in her office above the shop. Put your theater skills to good use. Pull out all the stops when you're playing Santa. Holly will love that. Maybe. 

TINA's about to exit stage left when she stops to say one final remark to BRYCE.

TINA
Oh, one last thing: do you drink?

BRYCE
On occasion.

TINA
Good enough for me! Good luck! 

TINA exits stage left. BRYCE stands center stage, facing forward. He pulls the SANTA HAT out of his bag and looks at it, about to burst into tears.

BRYCE
Oh God. 

The stage goes dark. 

SCENE II

The stage goes bright as HOLLY leads TINA and BRYCE--now in the full SANTA suit--behind her. The stage should be set up the same as the previous scene. We can see a dark red curtain obscuring something in the background. BRYCE's suit is comically large on him and his pants are barely staying up. He looks miserable and not at all like Santa. HOLLY motions to the large SANTA CHAIR to her left. 

HOLLY
You'll sit here. This year we're not doing the whole kids-sitting-on-your-lap thing after the... unfortunate event two years ago. They'll shake your hand and take a picture but we really need to keep it moving. It's not about the kids, it's about their parents buying crafts to beat the holiday rush. Then we'll move onto the big finale. 

BRYCE
Do I have any speaking parts?

HOLLY
Can you say ho ho ho and Merry Christmas?

BRYCE
Uh--

HOLLY
Good. You can say that.

HOLLY
As I was saying--the big finale. This year we're going to wow everyone, and finally give Betty's Florist a run for her money with her tawdry Halloween festival. Did you buy the scuba gear?

beat

HOLLY
Well, did you?

BRYCE
Are you talking to me?

HOLLY
Good God--Tina do you vet these people at all? Yes, you. The scuba gear. Did you buy it?

BRYCE
I didn't know I was supposed to buy scuba gear.

HOLLY massages her temples.

HOLLY
If I don't do everything myself I swear nothing gets done. FINE. I'll rent it from the scuba shop down the road, but that's coming out of your paycheck. 

BRYCE
I'm a little confused.

HOLLY
There's the shocker of the century. If it's at all possible for you to pay attention just once, please do so now. 

HOLLY holds her hands up towards the curtain behind her as it opens to reveal a GIANT FISH TANK filled with various types of fish and a tiny shark swimming around.

HOLLY
THE BIG FINALE! When everyone says hello to SCUBA SANTA! What's Christmas in July without a little taste of the tropics? 

BRYCE
Is that a shark?

HOLLY
Good eye. That's a nurse shark. He won't bother you. Shouldn't at least.

HOLLY
You'll be in here for about 10 minutes--swim up to the wall of the tank and wave to everyone. Wait for the end of the third Beach Boys song to finish playing before you swim away. Any questions?

BRYCE
Yes. What the hell is this?

HOLLY
Your source of primary income for the next few weeks. Any other questions?  

BRYCE looks down, defeated.

BRYCE
No.

HOLLY
Good. Now fatten up that suit before tomorrow. And stand tall, wipe that frown off your face and show up ready with a big smile--you're playing Santa from now until July 25th, for Chrissakes. 

HOLLY exits and BRYCE turns to look at TINA, who's at a table pouring some eggnog into a glass. 

BRYCE
I'm going to die before this is over, aren't I?

TINA
Nah. Probably not. Want a drink? 

The stage goes dark.

SCENE III

A big sign hangs in front of the curtain that reads JULY 25 - CHRISTMAS IN JULY. The curtain opens to reveal BRYCE in his full SANTA SUIT in the GIANT FISH TANK, waving to all of the families watching. SURFIN' SAFARI by the Beach Boys plays over the loudspeakers. The crowd cheers and waves.  

HOLLY walks in front of the fish tank to send everyone off. She wears a giant grin on her face. Right before the song ends we can see BRYCE start to swim up to the top of the tank. 

HOLLY
And so concludes our big finale to Holly's Craft Boutique's Third Annual Christmas in July Extravaganza! Make sure to grab your gift bags and take a look around the shop before you leave--you know what we always say, it's never too early to start your Christmas shopping. Thank you all for coming out and making this year's event even better than the last! 

THE CROWD is ushered out stage left by a young man dressed as an ELF as TINA hands each person a GIFT BAG on their way out. HOLLY waves at them as they leave. 

BRYCE enters, stage left, he's wearing a white tank top with his oversized Santa pants. He's exhausted and drying off his hair with a towel.

BRYCE
I thought that went pretty well.

HOLLY's grin turns to a grimace as she confronts BRYCE.

HOLLY
Oh you did, did you? Didn't I say wait until the third Beach Boys' song ENDS before you can swim away, not 30 seconds before? 

BRYCE
I don't think anyone noticed---

HOLLY
Well *I* did. Don't let it happen again.

BRYCE
Today's the last day.

HOLLY
You're lucky that it is. Now, I have to go make sure none of my customers are turned off by your guffaw at the end. 

HOLLY stomps off but changes her attitude she nears her exit stage right. She addresses the customers who have exited. 

HOLLY
Don't forget to try my homemade cake pops--free with every purchase! 

TINA joins BRYCE center stage, she's carrying two glasses of eggnog. He sits on Santa's chair while TINA stands next to him and hands him a glass. 

BRYCE
Thank God this nightmare is over. 

TINA
Almost makes you appreciate the horror that is actual Christmas, huh?

BRYCE chuckles as he takes a drink.

BRYCE
God I hate this stuff.

TINA
Yeah but the rum makes it go down so smooth.

BRYCE
I'm sorry we didn't really get to talk too much these past few weeks. It's been so crazy. Was this your first year too? 

TINA
Nope. I've been doing it since the first one three years ago. 

BRYCE
How?? What makes you keep coming back?

TINA
I'm a psych student and Holly's like an ongoing case study for me. Every year I think I'm going to walk away from it but I keep coming back--like looking at a car wreck--just to observe the depths of her deranged mind. 

BRYCE
Wow.

TINA
Plus every year I mess with her, just to see what happens.

BRYCE looks at TINA in shock.

TINA
The first year I swapped out all of the real poinsettia plants for super-flammable fake ones during the big fireworks finale. The second year I only advertised the event at the French school up the block but told Holly that they were German. She spent night after night learning The Night Before Christmas in German just to read it to a whole group of people that didn't understand it. Then last year I set off a stink bomb during Holly's opera performance of All I Want For Christmas is You.

TINA
...not my proudest or cleverest job, but funny nonetheless. 

BRYCE
And you hired the recovering alcoholic and the ex-con as Santas the last two years?

TINA
Those were just lucky coincidences. 

BRYCE and TINA laugh.

BRYCE
So wait--what was this year's trick? 

TINA
I didn't think of one. I guess I've let this case study run its course.

TINA
Plus, you're kinda cute so I didn't really want to bother you. 

BRYCE
Does this mean your hanging up the elf ears? 

TINA
You could say that. 

BRYCE
Well, cheers. 

BRYCE and TINA clink their glasses together.

TINA
Oh, wait! I almost forgot! 

TINA pulls an envelope out of her pocket and hands it to BRYCE.

TINA
This is for you. For your time.

BRYCE tears open the envelope as he speaks. 

BRYCE
FINALLY. Now hopefully my landlord will get off my bac---

BRYCE
...the Hell? 

BRYCE angrily holds up a slip of paper. 

BRYCE
A $500 non-transferable gift certificate to Holly's Craft Boutique? THAT'S my payment? 

BRYCE rips up the GIFT CERTIFICATE as he speaks.

BRYCE
I spent the past three weeks in this miserable Hell-hole for nothing??

TINA
Geez, Bryce. That's low, even for Holly. 

BRYCE
This is my fault. This is what I get for thinking I can make it as an out-of-work actor. I need to change my life. Go back to school. Do something different. 

BRYCE
This may have been the worst month of my life but I'll give Holly credit--she finally made me realize that I need to end this stupid dream once and for all.

TINA
Hey, hey. That's not very jolly of you--don't give up on your dreams. Just, you know, be more careful about what roles you take on. 

TINA
And for what it's worth, I've got a great sleeper sofa in my living room if you need a place to crash.

BRYCE
Thanks, Tina. 

TINA
I think I might have one more trick left in me--you want in? 

BRYCE
Lay it on me. 

TINA
How do you think a crowd of people would react to a live shark let loose in a craft store? 

BRYCE
Only one way to find out. 

TINA excitedly grabs BRYCE's hand and leads him off stage left.

BRYCE
HO HO HO! MERRY FUCKIN' CHRISTMAS! 

The stage goes dark.

END.

RABBIT, RABBIT

Happy first day of August! I don't know about you, but June and July whooped my ass & then some for tax, so I'm crossing all my appendages that August will bring with it a wave of positivity. So far it's started off on a pretty good note, which I'm hoping is an early sign of more good things to come. But one thing I've also learned is that the world is going to throw what it can at you—it's how you respond to it that matters. And moreover, if you have the opportunity to do something positive and take care of yourself along the way—do it. In honor of that I'm making sure I make the most out of these dog days of summer. I beat myself up a lot when I don't engage in personal creative endeavors, so to keep myself on my toes (or on my fingertips, which is more appropo), I'm going to force myself to get my creative juices flowing. 

Working in an art environment I'm incredibly luck to work alongside some very talented artists and see their processes and work on a daily basis. One thing I always envy is the ability to do something artistic every day—any time there's a daily drawing challenge I'm inspired by my friends' artistic endeavors and wish I could do something of that caliber. So for the month of August I'm taking a page from their artbooks and imposing a 31-day writing challenge upon myself. But which one? Well, the answer to that is a little tricky; I'm going to create my own.

I've been doing a lot of cleaning and (unsuccessful) decluttering and I've come across a lot of old plays I've both read and written during my time as a Drama Studies minor in college. I always enjoyed the art of playwriting but have not utilized it at all since I graduated college (almost ten years ago—yikes). I don't often think to write a play when I have an idea, so this challenge will work to dust off my playwriting muscles.

But a play a day for 31 days is pretty challenging, so I'm combining three different writing challenges I've found to help out. First  is 31 Plays in 31 Days—pretty self-explanatory. Next is a list of daily writing prompts courtesy of Writer's Write which I will use in conjunction with the prompts from the 31 Plays site. Last, and possibly the toughest, is 750 Words. I'll aim to have every play be (at least) 750 words. Every day. 

Will I make it? We'll see. Will every play be good? Absolutely not. But so much of writing is the process of writing—flaws and all. And the only way to get better is to just keep going. 

Wish me luck—and I'll be back soon with the first play of the month! 

- Jamie