“Parasomnia”
Dear Journal,
It's 4:40 AM and I can finally breathe again. Of course it's the finicky bastard known as sleep that still eludes me. One day I'll capture it, but as of now, I'd say I've gotten about two-and-a-half hours' worth of slumber in the past fifteen days.
But I have no other choice.
It seemed like the only time he’d come for me was in my most vulnerable state of unconsciousness. So I forced myself to stay awake. Night after night after night. Now I’ve done it so often sleep is foreign to me. Each night I try to return to that place of comfort but it seems further and further out of my grasp.
Every time my eyes would grow heavy I’d feel that pressure. As soon as my lids would slouch I’d feel his presence near me. Whenever my body would sink further into the mattress I could feel his hand on my shoulder. So I’d have no other choice but to wake up, for fear of what would come next.
Now, though, I can say that I have won. I beat him at his own game. I applied pressure at just the right points. I grasped my hands harder and tighter around his throat, unrelenting until I heard that last gasp.
It’s all over.
The weight has been lifted off me. The feeling of him sitting on my chest is gone. I’m free, I’m finally free and he can no longer hurt me. They say sleep demons aren’t real, but I know what I’ve experienced and the only way to stop it was to kill him first.
I can feel myself growing tired now. It’s like my body knows it’s safe. I think I can actually return to bed and sleep through the night.
- X
Dear Journal,
As predicted, I slept through the night. And every night after that. I’ve been making up for lost time, relishing every second spent in a dreamworld. Finally I feel safe. Comfortable.
So has my husband, thought I’m worried he might be sleeping a bit too much. I think it’s the temperature in this house. It’s too cold, he almost looks blue.
We’ve also developed a bit of a fly problem.
- X