“Cult”

“God, I would NEVER be tricked into joining a cult,” Julie lamented. “And honestly, that makes me kind of sad.”

Mabel snorted as she took a sip of her latte. “Why?”

“Because there’s a childlike whimsy to being duped into joining a cult, you know?” Julie took a long sip of her earl grey tea. “Like, there’s just SO much trust involved. Such faith that this random person you’ve never met before could grant you all your wildest wishes. It’s just genie-in-a-bottle mythos for the downtrodden and weak-minded.”

“Yeah,” Mabel replied but her mind was elsewhere. “I never really thought of it like that...”

Julie glanced outside the window to see what it was that caught Mabel’s attention. It was no surprise to see a bright orange Subaru parked in the lot.

“Deena’s car is more of a burnt Sienna,” Julie announced, snapping Mabel out of her daze.

“Oh, uh, I know,” Mabel replied, caught off-guard.

“You’re just going to look for her everywhere you go I guess?” Julie wanted to be a supportive friend, but she was growing tired of the same back and forth. She was also tired of having to compete for Mabel’s attention. After Mabel had her falling out with Deena, Julie at very least thought she’d be able to spend quality one-on-one time with her best friend once again, but their separating seemed to only make things worse. It was like Deena took a part of Mabel with her when she left, leaving behind only a husk of who Mabel once was, sentient enough to drift in and out of conversations when need be, but still stripping her of her ability to stay focused and engaged.

“No, I just… why would she say she moved if she’s still here?” Mabel asked as though Julie was an omniscient figure who just chose to withhold information from her best friend.

Julie shook her head and returned to her tea. She didn’t want to fight. She didn’t want Mabel to hurt any more than she already had been. But she couldn’t entertain this any longer. She knew she was probably not going to see Mabel again any time soon.

She just didn’t know how true that was going to be.

Mabel kept her head down as she jogged along the path. She knew it was smarter and safer to look up, but she wanted to be cautious of the rain-soaked leaves that lined the ground. She had her heart set on running that day, she had planned for it for days. When she awoke to such dreary weather outside, she felt like her whole world was collapsing around her.

So she decided to run anyway.

She knew it was ridiculous to hinge her entire well-being on a few hours’ worth of exercise outside on one day, but it really felt like the one small thread of sanity she had left to hold on to. She’d be alone with her thoughts, but the combination of constant motion and fresh air would allow her space and ability to let the thoughts flow freely without completely paralyzing her with fear and sadness. It was a wholly meditative act.

“I guess we’re not the only crazy people out here today, huh?”

Mabel was startled to hear another person’s voice. She looked up to see two women jogging opposite her, both in windbreakers and matching safari hats, grinning at her.

“Oh, haha yeah,” Mabel gave a polite laugh. She wasn’t planning on socializing today. “Sometimes you just need fresh air no matter what.” She hoped that would be enough so she could return to her own little world.

“Oh honey, do I know that!” The woman replied. “Hey, looks like we’re following the same path. Care to join us?”

Mabel wanted nothing less than to join them but she also knew that saying no would create an awkward situation where she’d had just rejected their kind offer but still had to jog in tandem with them on the same path in silence, the awkwardness being the only thing she’d be able to focus on until she’d inevitably admit defeat nd turning around, cutting her time short.

“Sure, thank you,” Mabel reluctantly agreed.

The three women jogged in unison keeping the conversation light. Small enough that Mabel could contribute when prompted, but not enough to completely distract her from her thoughts. She found herself pleasantly surprised about how much she was enjoying the camaraderie.

“So, what brings you to this trail today, alone, in this weather?” The woman, whose name was Kerry, as Mabel learned, inquired.

“Oh, just needed some time to myself with my thoughts,” Mabel replied.

“Bad breakup, huh?” The other woman, Louise, asked.

Mabel was surprised at her question.

“No, just… well, I mean… kind of.” Mabel trailed off.

“Oh, honey, don’t feel bad about it. Why do you think we’re here?” Kerry said with a smile.

Mabel didn’t want to make any assumptions, but she assumed the two women were soccer moms going for a daily jog together while their kids were in school. She didn’t peg them as two women working through breakups. It made her feel bad that she didn’t have that kind of kinship with her own best friend, Julie.

“I’m sorry,” Mabel began. “Recent breakups?”

Louise laughed and shook her head, “Not me—I’m still working through one from two years ago. Kerry’s wounds are a little fresher, only about a year. But this, this what we’re doing right here? This is better than any therapy money could buy.”

The three women jogged on for some time in silence.

“So, two years, huh?” Mabel finally chimed in.

“Oh, I made it worse than it sounds,” Louise replied. “Now don’t get me wrong, I was in a bad way for damn near a year. But once we found our tribe, this last year has been all about working through it. I don’t know where I’d be if it wasn’t for this lady right here and the rest of us.”

“Tribe?” Mabel arched an eyebrow.

“Oh, sweetie, we didn’t want to assume but… you looked lost,” Kerry replied.

“Excuse me?”

They all paused in place as Kerry procured a business card from her pocket. She handed it to Mabel and spoke as Mabel scanned the embossed text.

“We come here every day, but a lot of the others only join us a few times a week. We process loss and grief through exercise. We adjust the activity level based on each person’s needs, but we’ve found that the healing we all experience together is profound,” Kerry explained.

Mabel felt tears well up in her eyes. As of late, she didn’t believe in much, but she felt like these women were sent to her to help her. She hated herself for even feeling like any of that hokey bullshit could be true, but she needed something anything to have faith in right now. She couldn’t help herself, but she started blabbering to the two women about everything that had happened, the intense relationship she and Deena had formed, the way her life revolved around her for the last six months, how Deena told her she was moving across the country, the fear Mabel felt in losing her and the weeks of planning on how she too could uproot herself to stay by Deena’s side. Then Deena leaving without warning, not giving Mabel the option.

And then Mabel learning that Deena never actually moved.

The women nodded their heads. They understood. They knew.

“Join us,” Louise said. “It will be good for your soul.”

So Mabel did. And soon every week she jogged along with them on the same trail. They talked about their lives, their fears, their weaknesses. Then soon enough every week became twice a week. Then twice a week became every day.

Mabel had found her tribe. She started to feel like the hole Deena had left behind was finally being filled. She’d follow these women to the ends of the earth if she needed to.

And that’s exactly what happened.