“Doomscrolling”

"All the news is bad all the time," Brie commented out loud as she scanned the headlines on her phone. 

"Always was, always will be," Keith, her boyfriend, replied. "They never tell you about the good stuff. It's like hearing anything positive might actually make you content, then you won't need to buy all the useless crap they market towards you every second of every day." 

"Must everything go back to the ills of capitalism with you?" Brie rolled her eyes.

"Yes, it must," Keith replied, tickling her sides as he walked past. "Anyway, here's a hot tip: get off social media. That way lies madness."

"Ugh, I knowwwww," Brie whined, putting her phone down on the kitchen counter. "But it's just so addictive. First I'm looking at kitten pics and then the next thing I know I'm 24 tweets deep in a debate about climate change. Half the time I don't even know how I got there."

"Yeah, that's how they get ya," Keith called from the hallway. 

"Alright," Keith said as he returned, wearing his jacket. "I shouldn't be home too late tonight."

"Have fun with the boys," Brie responded with a smile.

"Try not to miss me too much, okay?" Keith said, planting a kiss on Brie's cheek. 

Once she was left alone, Brie tossed herself onto the couch and stretched out her legs. As much as she loved her boyfriend, she cherished the moments she had to herself. The night was hers: she could finally pick up the novel she had been meaning to read. She could Facetime with her sister out in California. She could watch all the romantic movies Keith didn't have the stomach for. The options were endless.

Brie picked up her phone instead. 

She made her usual rounds, scrolled through Instagram to gas up her friends' selfies and well-curated photo ops, gush over small animals, and meditate on articulate motivational talking points and socio-political calls to action. Next, it was Facebook, mostly to check in on older family members and ex-coworkers with whom she still had good relationships. Last was Twitter, which was where she usually fell down a rabbit hole of bad news, political fighting, mud-slinging, and name-calling. 

"No, not tonight," Brie said to herself as she opened up an app specifically designed to block social media sites. "Tonight is for unwinding, Brie." 

Brie got a glass of red wine and put on her comfiest pair of pajamas and settled back onto the couch for the first in her lineup of romantic comedies. She found the meet-cute predictable, rolled her eyes at the antics of the leading lady’s pathetic best friend, and couldn’t help but have a good belly laugh at the impromptu dance number. It was awful, in all the best ways. Brie got up to make some more popcorn to gear up for the next movie, this time a psychological thriller and turned the lights off to set the mood. Normally she wouldn’t watch movies like this alone, but this one was lauded as being so cerebral she didn’t want Keith to have to deal with her asking too many questions or shifting their movie-watching experience into a makeout session. Brie glanced at her phone every now and then during the movie, tempted to share her commentary with Keith, but she decided to let him enjoy his time with friends.

Brie got up and stretched—she was now rounding the last few hours of her solo night, which called for another glass of wine, a relaxing bubble bath with scented candles, and then back on the couch to finally finish that book. She emerged from the bathroom, face freshly exfoliated and hair wrapped up in a towel, propped up the pillows, and outstretched her legs once again. She opened the paperback to the bookmarked page when she heard a notification on her phone. Probably Keith letting her know he’d be heading home soon.

CHECK TWITTER.

It was a message from a number Brie didn’t recognize. She texted back “Who is this?” before returning her phone to the coffee table. Brie shrugged it off as a wrong number or some weird spam text and continued to read.

CHECK TWITTER NOW.

Another mystery text. Brie’s attention was now officially stolen so she set her book down and turned on the TV just in time to catch the evening news.

“Well, Meaghan, I can’t believe I’m about to say this but—that’s all we have for tonight,” the anchorman with the impossibly coiffed hair remarked to his cheeky blonde co-anchor. We’re actually getting word to wrap up the program early. We’ll leave you with this heartwarming story about a boy reunited with his family after years of being missing.”

“What?” Brie said to herself. It was only 10:30, how could the news be ending already? There was nothing else at all to talk about?

Another text notification. Brie already knew what to expect.

OMG! CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY DID IT?!

This time it was from her sister, Remy. “Did what?” Brie texted back.

THEY CAME TO A PEACE AGREEMENT!!!!!!

Brie shook her head in disbelief. Every talk about coming to a peaceful end had been discarded, how could things have changed so dramatically so quickly? She was about to respond when a message from Keith came in.

Big news, baby. I just got a call from my student loan provider—they’ve officially canceled all outstanding student debt effective immediately. How amazing is that? Check your balance, you should be free too. I’ll try not to bet too much extra at poker tonight!

Brie couldn’t believe what was happening. As silly as it seemed, she pinched her arm to make sure she hadn’t drifted off to sleep. She was trying to figure out who to text back first when she received yet another text message.

CHECK. TWITTER. NOW.

It was that same mystery number. This time, overwhelmed with all the good news she had received, she unblocked the Twitter app from her phone and went to take in all the celebratory statements.

I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’D DO THIS TO US.

WHY WOULD THEY DANGLE SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF OUR FACES JUST TO YANK IT AWAY SO ABRUPTLY?

Brie quickly scanned the hashtags to stay up to date. The student debt forgiveness plan was reversed before it even began.

THEY JUST LAUNCHED AN ATTACK ON THE EASTERN BORDER.

Brie, in a panic, turned the TV back on. An urgent news update interrupted the ‘90s sitcom that was playing in place of the latter half of the news.

“Talks of a ceasefire have been immediately halted. The president is promising to launch a full-on attack on the enemy forces. We believe this may be a war unlike any we’ve seen in our lifetime.” Brie turned off the TV and rested her face in her hands. Everything felt like it was moving at warp-speed. Another notification.

KEEP SCROLLING.

Brie did as she was told. More bad news came her way. Wildfires ravaging the Pacific North West. A beloved activist died at a young age. Increased reports of national job losses.

Brie turned her phone off and hid it under her couch. She felt selfish for wishing she didn’t see bad news on a night she meant to unwind. Who was she to feel sorry for herself when there was so much awful stuff happening in the world? She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. She got another notification.

GRANDMA’S HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL!! :) :) :)

Tears started flowing before she could stop them as she read her mother’s message. Her grandmother’s battle with pneumonia was looking bleak and this news was the best she had heard in a while, but it came at a time of so much unrest, she didn’t know whether or not to celebrate.

YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE BALANCE.

“WHAT?!” Brie exclaimed. Who were these messages coming from? Was this all a cruel prank?

Brie kept scrolling. It just kept getting worse and worse. It was almost as if the fate of the world was in her hands.

Almost.

Brie could see the fog rolling past the windows of her living room. She ignored it and kept scrolling. It got so thick she couldn’t see. She got up to open a window and look outside only to realize it wasn’t fog, it was smoke.

NO MORE, THERE IS AN IMBALANCE.

THE WILDFIRES ARE SPREADING, MOVING ACROSS THE COUNTRY AT SUCH A RAPID PACE THEY CAN’T BE CONTROLLED.

Brie quickly closed the window as she gasped for air. Maybe she did have the power to stop this, maybe she could end this all now.

But she couldn’t stop.

She kept going back.

YOU NEED TO END THIS NOW.

She kept scrolling.

The smoke grew thicker and with it came the flames.

LOG OFF

She didn’t. She couldn’t.

The end was here, fate was in her hands. In fact, it was just under her thumb.

But now, it was all gone.